Students in Porto, Portugal, celebrate the end of the 1997 school year with a colorful procession down the city's main street.(Christopher Reynolds / Los Angeles Times / June 11, 2012)
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Greetings, graduates, and nice timing. I have no idea how all of you people are going to find jobs. I’m not even sure how long mine will last. But I do have advice: Go away.
Many of you are ahead of me on this, planning epic road trips or European backpack expeditions. That’s good. And many of these adventures will be without parental supervision. That’s good too.
Because you could use a big gulp of independence right about now. It doesn’t have to cost a lot. And the older you get, the harder it will get to commit the simple, mind-altering, life-changing act of going someplace new. So do it now. Not to take a victory lap, but to get some practice being humble and resourceful and amazed.
You might learn more about yourself if you go on your own, but it’s undeniably riskier, especially for a woman. You could start in the company of your parents for a week (that way, they might pay), then strike off with a friend.
You could do it all with a buddy or two. If you go with a boyfriend/girlfriend – well, it might be fine, but relationship drama can mess up everything. My friend Amy calls the boyfriend/girlfriend trip the “Phase 2” of a young traveler’s awakening. In Phase 1, you face the world uncoupled, read your own maps, solve your own problems, learn your strengths and weaknesses. Phase 2 is the couple trip, which can be the “sweet glue” to a good relationship. (And now, she and her husband are on Phase 3 — trips with kids.)
Whomever you travel with, give them flexibility and demand the same in return. No two people will ever have identical degrees of interest in the Eiffel Tower, Jim Morrison’s grave and the Paris Sewer Museum. Leave yourself room to follow your curiosity – then stop when you reach the edge of your common sense.
Don’t bother posing as a local. Don’t be loud. Don't walk four abreast on a busy sidewalk.
When in doubt, ask a local who doesn’t have a financial interest in the answer. Most people are eager to share. And some of these people, I promise, will have starring roles in stories you’ll be telling 10 years from now.
Crimes and accidents happen. There’s no excuse these days for failing to keep the right people apprised of where you are and where you’re headed. Not every hour. But every day or two or three.
Eat, sleep and use the bathroom whenever you get a good chance. Compare prices. Use sunscreen, carry water, and don’t expect the natural world to cut you any slack. Remember that doing things slowly is usually a lot cheaper than doing them quickly.
Tip generously but not outrageously. If you’re sleeping in a hotel, tip the maid at least $2 a day. If you don’t, you have no business complaining ever again about the widening gap between the rich and the working poor.
Communicate more in person, less electronically. Remember, this adventure is about taking impressions in, not spewing them out.
Beware advice from taxi drivers, especially if romance or alcohol is involved. Beware restaurants with greeters on the sidewalk. Beware needy fellow travelers who are a little too eager to team up. Beware tour guides steering you to shops and restaurants that pay them kickbacks under the table.
Be polite. You may be mistaken for royalty and invited to tea. If so, extend your pinky and don’t mentionRupert Murdoch. Learn a few words of the local language, whether it’s “zongzi” (rice dumplings in Beijing) or “hush puppies” (cornmeal dumplings in New Orleans).
No McDonald's, no KFC, no more than one Starbucks visit every three days. You don’t have to eat all local food, but you do have to try some.
You will find a party, or make one. When it heats up, enjoy, but keep your wits. Know the way out. Know you are not invincible, not invisible, not bulletproof, not even as charming as you imagine after a few drinks. And know that the world is a far more dangerous place between midnight and 4 a.m. (My boss is more succinct on the subject of risk. “See it all,” she says. “Just don’t do it all.”)
No matter when you went to bed, get up early. Just about every place looks great, or at least more interesting, by the light of dawn. The lines are shorter, the traffic thinner. Nap later if you need to.
Most of these tips come directly from my own 35 years of frequent and far-flung travel, which began with a trip to Europe with a school group at age 16. Nine countries, five weeks. Queen Elizabeth was celebrating her silver jubilee. I tasted my first Guinness, got lost with a girl on the Paris Metro and missed most of the Palace of Versailles because I was busy playing Frisbee on the lawn. Best gift my parents ever gave me.
But then I marched through college without studying abroad. And once I got my diploma, the economy was in rotten shape (sound familiar?), so I grabbed at a job and started collecting those $325-a-week paychecks, no vacation in sight. Again, I missed an opportunity. Maybe I’m still trying to compensate.
As I was writing this, I asked bunch of friends — many quite well-traveled, many with kids around graduation age — to pitch in. Their answers were quick and sometimes contradictory.
